Thank you so much for writing to me and expecting some words of advice from me. Well, I have gone through your mail a couple of times. I feel so sorry to know that you are undergoing lots of stress and tension. I myself find it difficult to tell you to d this and that because I didn’t quite understand clearly what problem is troubling you. Any ways what I want to tell you is: there is no one in this world who does not have problem. Every day you come across different students and staff members. You ask them whether or not they have problem. I am sure they all will say they have problem. But did you ever see them worry? Well some may worry but most of them will not worry because they know that worrying will not help solve any problem.
You must have heard the story of Lord Buddha who was once approached by a mother who was in grief because of the loss of her son. The lord Buddha promised to help her provided that she comes back meeting one single person in her village who had not lost one member in his or her family. The woman searched every nook and corner but found not a single person who had not lost someone. After knowing that everybody had the problem, she went to Lord Buddha to say sorry. So, you see everyone has a problem.
In your letter, you have said that you can’t pay attention on your studies. Well that may be because you are unnecessarily worrying about your future life. Just worrying about your future life will not help you make a beautiful future. If worrying helps, then everybody will worry. Unfortunately that’s not the fact! So, forget your worry, tension and problem and use all your energy in studies. You have said that you have chalked time table. Instead of time table try to make daily goals. I have already taught my other students how to set goals. So, learn from them the SMART goal setting. This will definitely help you.
When you are in tension or problem, think of those thousand people who are worse than you in every field. You will know that you are lucky and much better than them. I myself try this. Whenever I feel sad and blue, I look at the pictures of those poor people or think of those unfortunate people I have bumped into my life. Doing this gives me new energy and thus I get motivated. It also helps me to develop my self esteem. I respect myself for all the good things I have that they don’t have.
Being a Buddhist, we believe that everything depends on our thinking and attitude. For Example, you are eating a very delicious food with a group of people you hate the most. I am sure you will not enjoy your food. On the other hand, you are eating some ordinary food with a group of people you love the most. I am sure you will enjoy the food thoroughly even though the food is just ordinary. So, you see, everything depends upon your thinking. So, what I am trying to tell you is try to change your attitude. Look at the good side. Always use positive or encouraging words to yourself. Change will come and things will be different!
I have gone through your letter. Your handwriting is good, your English structure is good and the manner in which you have sent the letter to a teacher is also very respectful. So, you see you have all these good qualitites which I am sure some of other students don’t have. When you were small or when you were in Tibet, its sure that you didn’t have these! So, you have learnt all these during a shirt span of time. How can you say that you can’t do because of some useless tensions. Don’t take care of tension and worry. If you take care of tension and worry, they will never leave you. They will always stick to you like a chid sticks to a mother because the mother takes care of the child.
I am sure whatever I have said here may be of some help to you. In nutshell please remember:
- Everybody has problem, worry, tension etc you are not the only one
- Make daily goal setting SMART
- When you are sad, think of people who are worse than you
- Change your attitude and everything around you changes
- Love yourself, give self esteem for all the good things you have
Remember when I am writing this letter, I too have lots of problem, tension in my mind but I didn’t pay heed and so the problem didn’t give me trouble. I have completed this long letter easily. So, if you take care of problem and tension all the time, they will also stay with you. Instead of that go forward in life and the problems and tensions will leave you because you have neglected them. In life also if you neglect someone, he or she will not come near you! So, Just think!
Regards and wishes